meh.

i don't know what it is, but it's accurate right now . . . listening to music i really connect with just makes me feel. and when i feel it feels very quiet and kind of down. and not down like Eeyore down, down like my stomach settles in, if that makes any sense at all. maybe the down is because there are very few places where i'm truly and completely myself (that's true of anyone, i think), and so settling in exposes the space between me and my surroundings? which i don't like, but it's good to recognize anyway.


but i've decided i'm going to pull an emma and match-make. it was so wonderful to convince her to go talk to him tonight and then see the look on his face when she sat down next to him. when it all first developed, i played the token hopeless romantic and kept telling her and telling her. i was optimistic to the point of being annoying, really - almost like i was playing devil's advocate, with the devil representing hope and love in this case? i'm not going to deal with how wrong that is.

anyway, i hope i get to say i told you so. he reads newspapers in the bar with his friends and she dances like a crazy person, so naturally they're perfect for each other.

i want to buy new music, but the network here blocks the i-tunes store. so. i've resorted to pandora, which is working just fine, but still. i have a particular craving for owen and he only comes on every 3rd or 4th song. i'll manage, i suppose.

i wish i had more, but i'm afraid the mood i'm in is not very conducive to an edifying post - for y'all anyway. i always benefit from the release, it's just whether it makes any sense once it comes out.

i'm not really that concerned about it, to be honest. i have a pretty self-centered approach to blogging . . .

well, i'm going to go to sleep.

i'm ready for my hair to be long again.

meh.

some pages bent
the spines creased and worn
all signs of being adored
and those words somehow meant more to you
than who they were written for

[owen]