tea roses and coldwater toes

now that the inaugural post is out of the way . . .

do you know what really bothers me? my clock on my laptop is always wrong. like right now, it's really 11-something and it says that it's 8-something. and the something is always right, but every time i fix the hour it changes back.

but. that's a terribly mundane thing for me to start with, isn't it?

*she smirks*

you should probably get used to it. me typing away about the mundane, i mean.

anyway. today we met with candidate #4 for the assistant director position, which was great.

and it triggered a whole thought process on arrogance that i got distracted from before i finished it, i think.

it wasn't that he was arrogant, it was just that he was really honest, in the subjective way that is what honesty is, and at first it struck me as arrogance. which was not the case. maybe biased eagerness? which is not a bad thing, i don't think.

anyway, thinking about what he was made me think about how if someone is good at something or wise or discerning about it (which he seemed to be), then i think it's impossible for him or her to not be affected by it. because the way they're doing things works, so who's to say they shouldn't be a little biased? but then, is that arrogance? or just confidence? because i always pair arrogance with insecurity. he wasn't insecure. but then, if it was confidence, why would it feel abrasive? because that doesn't make sense to me. i feel like confidence is too quiet to be abrasive. unless it's really arrogance. but i've already decided that he wasn't arrogant. and i think that biased eagerness might be slightly abravise just because it's biased.

there is also a distinct possibility that i just think about things too much . . .

man i love this song.

i held my tongue
as she told me, son,
fear is the heart of love
so i never went back

if heaven and hell decide
that they both are satisfied
illuminate the no's
on their vacancy signs
if there's no one beside you
when your soul embarks
i'll follow you into the dark

[death cab for cutie]

i always knew that i would like their music, but for some reason i never got around to listening to it.

until now, of course (thanks, lauren).

i think i'm restless already. hence the forever-long discussion on arrogance slash confidence slash nothing that you just read.

it just baffles me, because i was so looking forward to not being busy. but, you know, summer is never really not being busy, it's just a shift in busy-ness from academics to practical things. and i haven't even started my practical thing yet - orientation isn't until the 13th of june. but. i still have a lot to do. i've got to call friends and potential babysitting jobs and potential house-sitting jobs, and i still have no idea what my work schedule will be so i can't really set anything up.

which is why i'm calling the boss tomorrow. and then i will feel better about life, i think.

ok. i think this has been sufficiently long. and i'm getting sleepy. at 11-something. but i suppose that's what happens to sleep deprived individuals when the adrenaline runs out, huh?

mm hm.

goodnight.

welcome to chapter five

my heart is slowly turning the page and i have decided it's time to re-enter the blogging world, seeing as how i finally have gotten to a point where i have time to process the little things again.

so. for those of you who read my old one, just be warned that i will probably be re-hashing a lot of ideas here just because it's been awhile since i've written about truth vs. honesty or 3-4 time.

it's good to be back. locationally and emotionally.

well. my brother's chorus concert awaits. but i'll be back soon, don't you worry.