hi my name is jessie, and i'm a choco-holic.

mm. apple slices and nutella. generic nutella, actually: sainsbury's belgian milk chocolate spread, to be exact. you know you've made it when you are in a place that has generic nutella. english boys are so frustrating. they never say hello when you pass them on the sidewalk, er, pavement. unless they're complete manwhores, but that's probably what allows them to become manwhores, isn't it? that little thing girls like to call acknowledgment.

i'm not hitting on you, for crying out loud. it's called being friendly. get over yourself already.

humph.

the british are so backwards that way sometimes; they have absolutely no concept of physical personal space, but an overdeveloped emotional one. i always get really grouchy after going to the grocery store because everyone and their mother bumps into you and then walks away like nothing happened. i don't understand. i want the south back.

i'm only joking about that last part. and now that my rant is over i feel much better.

my keys are sticky with apple juice. but that means that i have an apple in my stomach, which makes me happy. not to mention the nutella (again). obviously that's a great source of delight in my life . . .

i have 1 hour and 41 mintues until my next lecture, approximately, and i've not a thing to do until then. i could clean my room, i suppose, but i don't really feel like it right now. give me an hour and then i will.

i bought my christmas ball ticket today - i'm having very much fun putting my outfit together, seeing as how the whole thing is going to cost me about 25 pounds. dress, shoes, accessories included. that's very exciting, when you think about how much i could've spent on a formal dress. it just makes getting dressed up *that* much more fun because you don't feel so frivolous.

i'm going to london tomorrow! to see katie jane and company - it will be so good to see familiar faces, i think. and hear voices that i know well. and to go out with my friends! my real, honest to goodness know who i am and have seen me at my worst friends. oh, i can't wait. i might cry. i'm going to try not to, but i probably will.

that makes my time here sound so emotionally trying, doesn't it? it hasn't been - i'm emotionally connected here and i do not feel any troubling void when it comes to support. however. one is silver . . .

right. i'm going to go play. i'm not sure what that entails, exactly, but i'm going to go figure it out because i can't think of anything else to type on about.

catch y'all later.

even you, o princess . . .

yes, i really am listening to the bbc concert orchestra's version of nessun dorma on repeat in my dorm room.

it's beautiful, and i need it. so there.

not that today was particularly
bad . . . in fact, to say that today was bad at all would be to mis-speak. it was quite lovely - megan, hannah and i went to manchester for the day. and we went shopping and i bought a shirt (for a pound!) and a dress for the christmas ball (for five pounds!!!!!), and the coolest, most wonderful pair of boots in the world.

and then we rode the ferris wheel together and went to the cathedral afterwards.

let me tell you about the cathedral: we walked in as the choir was practicing, and they sounded so beautiful. their voices filled the room to the ceiling and worked their way into the crevices of the dark-wooded carvings on the walls and into the patterns in the stained glass windows, and it brought tears to my eyes. i just sat on the bench for awhile in the middle of this huge church with absolutely breathtaking music filling me. every time i looked up at the ceiling i felt it flow out, you know? i felt me flowing up and out.

so refreshing.

cleansing, too. you could say i had a moment : )

nessun dorma
nessun dorma
tu pure, o principessa
nella tua fredda stanza
guardi le stelle che tremano d'amore, e di speranza . . .

today has been a day of things that fit together, if you know what i mean. little things, sure, but things nonetheless.

'night, y'all.

it's all about the eyebrows

well, my door has been left open, but i'm in bed and i really don't feel like getting up to close it, so i'm just going to suck it up and blog with the door open.

yes, it makes a difference.

it's hard to process when people are watching. or could potentially watch. or could potentially think about watching. bah, i'm such an introvert.

i've eaten all of the pistachios out of the trail mix megan and i made, and i can't resign myself to eat the rest of it if it doesn't have pistachios in it. but if i buy more then i'll just eat the pistachios again and i'll be in the same place i am right now.

hm.

i like this song (radiohead, still; the weird fishes one).

last night was fun. however, you know you're starved for conversation when you get excited for having conversations with people who you know won't remember a word of them in the morning. but i suppose you make do with what you have. it was better than most of our nights go as far as interacting with people - usually we just dance with the freshers in our kitchen and then go home. so it was good to get out of the circle and talk to people a little closer to my age. though, if i'm being honest, "talk" is not an accurate word at all - more like screaming questions over the music and after a couple "whats?" getting an answer, to which you have to scream "what?" a few times before you understand it. damn british accents. ian asked me if i knew who "the beatles" were and i thought he said "the peels" so i said, "no i've never heard of them" and he just about had a heart attack. oops.

i want to have one of those conversations where you introduce yourself for the first time at the start and by the time you leave you're giving them a hug, do you know? a really good, friendship-building conversation. three hours, minimum.

i'm already getting restless here. i want to go places and do things. uni life? check, done, let's find the next adventure.

it's a blessing though, my restless heart is, right now. at fusion yesterday we had a really long quiet time at the beginning with candles and it was wonderful because people always cut quiet times off before i'm done, but this time it went long enough for me to actually get a thought out and process it with the big guy. i just asked for the right heart towards this place - i knew i was getting caught up in uni life, just in the shallow mindset way, but the thing about being caught up in things is that you don't really care that you're caught up in it, because when it's all said and done you're having a good time and who wants to end a good time? but i brought all of that with my candle and i realized (or, rather, was shown) that i was too attached to things. i made myself an idol? that's never happened before. anyway, i think because i'm here for so short a time i feel like i should be the best-liked that i can be while i'm here, so i felt this pressure to impress (and to be impressed, because often to impress you have to show that you have been impressed, if that makes sense). it was really dampening me and my ability to communicate myself when i interacted with people. express myself, rather. communication implies that the other party understands what i'm expressing, and that's definitely not always the case.

so he worked me through it and then i felt so free to be myself for the rest of the evening that i was able to really be with the people i was around, instead of just being around the people i was with. instead of just being around the people with whom i was? why does the grammatically correct version always sound so convoluted? elevated may be a better word. elevated and therefore unnecessary? any type of elevation is usually unnecessary, i feel, even if it is for the sake of expression. although i guess in this case the initial, and therefore most accurate, expression involved grammatical uncorrectness. so there.

*chuckle*

i'm doing well today - still riding on the prayer-thing. it's nice . . . conversation is.

imagine that.

meh.

i don't know what it is, but it's accurate right now . . . listening to music i really connect with just makes me feel. and when i feel it feels very quiet and kind of down. and not down like Eeyore down, down like my stomach settles in, if that makes any sense at all. maybe the down is because there are very few places where i'm truly and completely myself (that's true of anyone, i think), and so settling in exposes the space between me and my surroundings? which i don't like, but it's good to recognize anyway.


but i've decided i'm going to pull an emma and match-make. it was so wonderful to convince her to go talk to him tonight and then see the look on his face when she sat down next to him. when it all first developed, i played the token hopeless romantic and kept telling her and telling her. i was optimistic to the point of being annoying, really - almost like i was playing devil's advocate, with the devil representing hope and love in this case? i'm not going to deal with how wrong that is.

anyway, i hope i get to say i told you so. he reads newspapers in the bar with his friends and she dances like a crazy person, so naturally they're perfect for each other.

i want to buy new music, but the network here blocks the i-tunes store. so. i've resorted to pandora, which is working just fine, but still. i have a particular craving for owen and he only comes on every 3rd or 4th song. i'll manage, i suppose.

i wish i had more, but i'm afraid the mood i'm in is not very conducive to an edifying post - for y'all anyway. i always benefit from the release, it's just whether it makes any sense once it comes out.

i'm not really that concerned about it, to be honest. i have a pretty self-centered approach to blogging . . .

well, i'm going to go to sleep.

i'm ready for my hair to be long again.

meh.

some pages bent
the spines creased and worn
all signs of being adored
and those words somehow meant more to you
than who they were written for

[owen]

a very successful hair day, indeed

megan's hair is now curly, and kate's hair is now blonde(ish).

i'm exhausted. today was a long day. funny, seeing as how i skipped lecture. twice.

but i was combating being sick. i do feel better, so i think i may have succeeded. we'll see, yeah?

i need to go to bed - i was going to try to communicate a little, but i don't really feel like communicating at all right now. even though i think i'm very much hurting for it lately. i need familiar voices, i think. i've had enough of the computer screen. presences would be ideal, but that's just not practical, so i'll have to make do with voices for now.

and we will clean the cobwebs out of one another's minds . . .

[missy higgins]

well, i'm going to stop whining - but life is always more lonely when you're sick, you know? so today was just a lonely day, that's all.

goodnight, then.

hatching plans and other such nuisances

i try very hard not to make plans for my future anymore, seeing as how i've gotten it wrong almost every time i've made them, but there's this one plan that sprouted when i got here and it's been growing since then in little spurts and pangs. today was a spurt day.

anyway, lancaster has a year-long masters program in psychology. and i thought i would never want to go straight into masters from undergrad, but it's england. and i could get a visa, and therefore a job (and thus make twice the money, with the exchange rate) and get my masters and live in england for a year. and take ballroom dancing lessons. and hike. and be around people with british accents who use words so much more dramatically than we do in the states. for example, at the poster sale in alexandra square:

ask sales assistant for a pristine copy of this poster

pristine.

no one says pristine. but it's so expressive, isn't it? so much better than just saying "new" or "wrapped."

back to my plan: when i got back to the states, not only would i have double the money, i would have a masters degree with which i could actually get a real job. not my ideal real job, but a real job nonetheless.

and i would already know my way around the university here and i would have an entire year to explore europe (hello, christmas holiday) and it would be amazing.

bothersome plan, isn't it? or hope, or dream, depending on how you look at it. i suppose it's more accurate to call it a dream.

we'll stick it to the felt board, anyway. i feel like these days my life is perpetually stuck in the brainstorming phase.

i think i like it that way.

i've got to pack for coniston . . .

y'alright?

which is equivalent to "how are you?," but it still catches me off-guard sometimes. of course i'm alright.

today's been a don't touch me day, so far. which is going to make for a very awkward dancing session tonight, but i'll push through it, i suppose (oh, the agony.) . . .

i wonder about being the friend who sticks around. because i think that by being the one who sticks around, you inevitably become the one who gets left. people don't like to take people with them when they move on, you know.

how awfully selfish, wasn't that? disgusting.

i'm going to be a dork and recite (select parts of) my buddhism lecture to you. it was on suffering, which is kind of my thing. not that i'm a masochist or a sadist, but i do want to be a therapist, and therefore have to be somewhat interested in the process of suffering. not to mention the part of my interest that stems purely from it's existence in my life and the lives of my family and friends.

there's a yellow jacket in my room. fantastic.

hooray, it flew out.

anyway, suffering. is called "dukkha" in pali, which is the latin of buddhism.

my notes:

what is dukkha?
- a problem/suffering/'unsatisfactoriness'
- life is full of it; life will never be perfect
- approach dukkha; FACE IT

6 kinds of suffering
1) dukkha dukkha
- something intrinsic about human experience (i.e. death, aging, etc.)
- "normal" pain
- pain means you are alive
2) viparinama dukkha
- dukkha x sukkha = unpleasant x pleasant
- sukkha/pleasure can be equivalent to dukkha/pain
- both are temporary
- caused by clinging too tightly to sukkha
3) sankhara dukkha
- dukkha caused by our attachment to our sense of ego
- we are not who we think we are
- open up your sense of self: examine why we cling to it
4) paticchanna dukkha
- concealed/covered up/subconscious pain (i.e. trauma that's been suppressed)
5) apaticchanna dukkha
- exposed/conscious pain
6) pariyaya dukkha
- the fact that one is reborn again and again, and that one is caught up in an endless orbit
- not just a life-long cycle, can be a daily cycle/the everyday-life cycle

fascinating stuff, isn't it? i'm sure this is some sort of travesty, but the (unintentional though they may be) parallels to my faith are so blatant at some points that i can't help but become a little more settled - like if we agree on this, then we didn't come up with it in a vacuum, you know? sometimes i worry about that and doctrine. if you come up with doctrine in a denominational bubble it never really fits, i don't think. so the fact that others recognize what we do, though they take it in a different direction, means we didn't come up with it on our own. i like people, but that doesn't mean i should blindly trust them with my spiritual doctrine. there's something about the idea that buddhists and christians have the same general idea about suffering that is so big it couldn't be the work of humans, you know. that's encouraging.

and sure, there are really big differences between the two faiths, i just wanted to point out the similarities for a moment, because they do exist, i think.

my grandpa would die if he knew his own flesh and blood was comparing buddhism to presbyterianism : )

i love my grandpa.

i'm tired. i think it's time for a nap. here's the picture of my internship that i promised to post a million years ago:



a yucky nuetral, with moments of (slightly crinkled) hallelujah!'s.

farewell, friends; hello, naptime.

today, i can't be bothered

i'm cold. logically, that means i should shut my window, but my desire for fresh air and the fact that i would actually have to get up to close the window supersede logic at this point. this is really the first day that i've been actually cold, though, which is pretty good, i feel. going to town in flip-flops and a t-shirt probably didn't help . . . it was warm this morning, in my defense, and i just felt like wearing flip-flops.

i'm stocked up on groceries now, which feels good - i actually have milk! for the first time in about a week, simply because i'm lazy.

anyway, my trip to town was very successful; not only did i get groceries, i got hiking boots and a shell (pants and a jacket). and now i can go on any of the hiking club's trips. i was already going on the social weekend this weekend, but now i'll actually be allowed to go hiking, which is kind of the point of going on a hiking club trip, yeah?

it's gorgeous today - blue sky and fall breeze and fresh, cold air. mm. i'm curled up beside my open window in my sweatshirt and blanket, i've just finished my cup of tea and crumpets (i made crumpets with cheese - they were positively scrumptious) and i am very satisfied with the world and my place in it right now.

i'm not going out tonight - i saw enough of the carlton at our flop of a welcome dinner last night that i'm not tempted to go back so soon. maybe not ever, but we'll see. i'm going to go to fusion (which is like a discipleship/fellowship group on campus) and just hang out there for awhile, get to know people my age (or older) for a change. although i did meet a pretty awesome fresher last night - he's a guitar major, and we talked about bluegrass for a long time while we were waiting for the stupid bus. it made me really happy because no one knows what bluegrass is here, and those who've heard of it before call it "bluesgrass," which is just wrong. so wrong.

i've got radiohead playing, again. it's quite an infectious album.

in the deepest ocean
the bottom of the sea
your eyes
they turn me
why should i stay here?
why should i stay?

i'd be crazy not to follow
follow where you lead
your eyes
they turn me

[radiohead]

i'm going to go enjoy the rest of my evening, i hope y'all do the same.

mind over matter

well, i had journey stuck in my head walking back from my buddhism seminar, but i've put radiohead on, so i won't be belting "don't stop believing" today. that was an american bonding moment in the kitchen last night, to the brits' amusement, and i think it should stay that way . . .

i'm finally going to hear live music tonight! it's open mic night at pendle, so i think ian and i are going to go check it out. and then i'm going to watch zodiac with hannah and steven.

i think this evening is going to be good for me. i need to return to my old ways a little bit, for, although i don't feel i've lost myself, i've definitely put myself in very different surroundings than what i'm used to. and to put a backwoods acoustic personality into clubs with r&b and techno just doesn't quite fit. i mean, it's definitely a part of me, but it's not the only part, and i feel i've been neglecting my acoustic side while i've been here. and i have yet to find a piano that's not terribly out-of-tune and in the middle of the billiards room in county bar.

also, i haven't watched a thought-provoking movie in what feels like ages - i lived off of them over the summer and since i moved into school in the states i haven't really watched any. except the nanny diaries, but that was just fun (though more substantial fun than most chick-flicks), so it doesn't really count.

but zodiac. zodiac counts.

i'm ready.

i've decided i'm going to attempt to limit myself to 20 pounds a week. i'm not sure i can do it, especially if i want to include grocery shopping in the 20, but i'm going to try. if i think i'm going to travel anywhere i need to start saving my money up. and even if i don't keep to exactly 20 pounds, i will be thinking about the money i'm spending and thus i will spend less, yeah?

i really don't want to read my psychology. it's fascinating stuff, but i'm so out of the academic mindset by now that i just don't want to do work. at all. i'm not sure exactly how i think i'm going to make it through getting my ph.d. if i can't even read a chapter in cognitive psychology, but i'll worry about that when i get there, i suppose.

when i first listened to the new radiohead album i didn't like it, but it's been on all day - it's growing on me pretty quickly. and it makes wonderful background music for thinking. as does feist. but feist is just wonderful all the way around.

ok. i'm going to go check e-mail, etc. and then crack the book open a little before my 5pm lecture.

mmph.

there's a practice session for ballroom for three hours this afternoon in county lecture theatre, and it's kind of a drop in thing, but i'm not sure i can be bothered to go. i should go, just for the sake of getting out of my room and doing something. but i've also got to tidy up my room - laundry is the equivalent of $3.00 to wash and $2.00 to dry, so i've been conserving, and that means there's a huge pile of clothes on my chair that i've worn, but they're not dirty yet because i don't want to pay for wash.

anyway. i'm cranky and i'm bored. but i am starting to settle in, which feels really nice. and people have started calling me "jess," which i love. i also feel like i've kept myself in the process of settling in. that's big; in the past my tendency was to mold somewhat blindly (and i say blindly because it was never completely or dangerously, it was just foolishly and without proper thought) to where i was and who i was with, but now i feel like i've given enough to relate, but not enough to change. it feels really nice to be me and be comfortable around people who would normally really intimidate me.

i think i'm going to organize my room and then go dancing for a bit. i thought i needed to vent, but i don't really even feel like venting. also, seeing as how i have nothing to vent about, it wouldn't have helped anyway, i don't think.

so whiny, aren't i? this is what happens when i get bored. which is why i'm going to go move.

have a lovely afternoon : )

cheap wine and the ministry of sound

well, i suppose people will think what they will.

i'm experiencing more of a culture clash with my fellow americans than i am with the locals, at the moment. there's something very foreign about the fact that i don't want to get drunk. or that when i have had a bit to drink i don't care to create a scene about it. and somehow a conversation about blacking out turned into a get-jessie-drunk campaign, and the campaigning has now bled onto facebook. in very small ways, mind you.

end of the world? no.

bothersome? sure.

i feel like i need to put a disclaimer on my profile, "dear future employer, i am responsible and any comments made to the contrary are false," but then it just looks like i'm covering my ass, doesn't it? i suppose i would be. in fact, i think that's probably what this post is, as well - an attempt to keep people from thinking ill of me. it always comes back to that, i feel.

i seem to have made friends who act like they couldn't care less what people think of them. or me, for that matter.

funny, that. it pits my loyalty to my friends against my loyalty to my image: two of the biggest idols i'll ever treasure.

clouds part
just to give us a little sun

there's a limit to your love
like a waterfall in slow motion
like a map with no ocean
there's a limit to your love

i love i love i love
this dream of going upstream
i love i love i love
the trouble that you give me
i know i know i know
that only i can save me
i'll go i'll go i'll go
right down the road

there's a limit to your love
like a waterfall in slow motion
like a map with no ocean
there's a limit to your love
your love your love your love


i'm going to go listen for a bit and attempt to sleep.


one two three four
tell me that you love me more
sleepless long nights
that is what my youth was for

old teenage hopes are alive at your door
left you with nothing but they want some more

oh, you're changing your heart
oh, you know who you are

[feist]

'night.

that was brilliant.

maggie and i decided that we are both simply one glittery, spandex, cut-out dress away from being ballroom dancing experts. sure, we've only had one lesson, but man can we cha-cha. and waltz.

*chuckles*

seriously, though - i'm in love with it. dancing, i mean. and i've always known that i would be, but i've never had an opportunity to do anything about it, you know.

lauren: "i jus' miss melbournian dancehs."
chris: "what's a melbournian dance?!?"
kate: "i was picturing something like elaine's dance from seinfeld, you know?"
[hannah and lauren demonstrate elaine's dance from seinfeld, cheese in hand, i'm pretty sure]
lauren: "no, i said dancehs, not dances. they sound the same."
chris: "oh right."

that's what you get when you put all the fes's in the kitchen for extended periods of time. with a fes being a foreign exchange student. you know, like that 70's show. except none of us have a lisp. and we all know where we're from.

anyway, back to ballroom dancing, because that's really what i want to talk about right now. i went to the lesson on tuesday and it was amazing. granted, maggie and i had to lead each other around the dance floor a few times because there is a frustrating lack of boys who are willing to join the ballroom dancing society, but the times i was actually able to follow with a guy who knew what he was doing, i felt so . . . lovely. there's just something about it. you both give a little; strain your muscles a little for the flow of movement. connect with yourselves independently so that you can move together, yeah? so wonderful. mm.

there's another lesson tomorrow, and i was jumping around the kitchen telling mary about it.

enough about ballroom, yet?

alright.

unfortunately, that's all i've got on the brain right now, so i'm going to go be excited for tomorrow and leave you all to gaggle at how much of a dork i am. but you know you're just jealous because one of these days, i'll get to wear sparkly spandex . . .

cheers.

pull yourself together

divine humor, part 537,217,001: i was becoming frantic in the way that you only become frantic when you're coming down with a cold and therefore haven't slept. someone across the hall was playing one of those songs that magnifies any form of desperation, i don't know if y'all have those, but i've got several at this point. anyway, the point is that it was playing, loudly, and i couldn't switch it off, because it wasn't mine to switch off. and i just laid face-down on my bed telling the frantic to go away, and then i picked up my devotional, opened to today, and

PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER

greets me from the top of the page. cheers.

*sigh*

also, have you ever known those people who just bring out the worst in you? the callous part? because there is someone here who, without fail (or intending to, for that matter), always seems to pull my dry, sarcastic, i-have-no-heart side out. which is hard to do, considering how mushy i am most of the time. but i can't get over it. i can't shake it, and i always end up calling him a jackass or commenting on his clothing or something terrible like that. and it's all in fun, technically - i always say it with a smile, right? it wouldn't bother me if i knew it didn't bother him, but i think i may be hurting him, though he'd never say it - he's one of those arrogants who is really insecure about things (it takes one to know one, trust me), and i have a feeling my little comments are not helping.

so i'm worried about that, you know; i'm stressing about being able to be really genuine to him.

interacting with people is so complicated, and yet so simple, yeah?

to the dreamers go the dreams
but the leaders have the lead
it's a frightening, frightening thing

the moons and stars are ganging up on the sun . . .

[guster]

well, i'm going to go sleep a little and see if i don't wake up in a less scattered mood. and with a little less of my throat blocked off.

have a lovely afternoon, all. i'm going to go attempt to live quietly.

walking through the quad, etc.

today, today.

has been quite the day, so far. i started off by breaking a glass in the kitchen - mine fell out of the cupboard and hit someone else's onto the floor, where it shattered. good, right?

and then i dropped another dish in the sink, but luckily it didn't break, though it did unsettle me even more than i already was.

also, coming back from laundry just now, i walked onto the wrong floor. not into the wrong room or wrong kitchen, i went up an extra flight of stairs and couldn't figure out why my key wouldn't work until i looked up and saw the C62 where there should've been a B62.

and i had to walk through the quad while the football club was gathered around the tree, which is just kind of awkward because i don't know them very well, and i wasn't in the mood to be friendly, so it was one of those walk past and say hi but don't stop walking to chat things. in my defense, they were still meeting/gathered so they couldn't have talked anyhow.

i think it's one of those things that i think i should be a part of, their group of friends is, but i just can't really resign myself to be how i would have to be to get into it. or rather, that's my assumption today because i'm in a bad mood and had an awkward interaction with them that wasn't awkward to anyone but me. honestly, if i would just open up a little i'd be there, which is usually how it works. people usually like me if i'm myself, funny thing as that is.

i'm going to pause for a moment of zen.



that's better.

i'm listening to the fray, and they're working quite well on my nerves.

i think a large part of the problem is that the past week has been filled with wonderful, fast-paced fun that didn't require solid friendships, so i was content to make acquaintances. but the problem with acquaintances is that they don't know you very well. example a: hannah comes into my room last night before we were going to go upstairs with something to tell me.

"so i was talking to rich last night and he was saying how luke thinks 'the other american with curly hair' is attractive and interesting . . ."
"oh yeah?"
"yeah. he's pretty cute - you should probably . . ."
(i laugh)
"i should probably tap that, huh?"
"definitely."

here's my thing about it - i feel like she thinks i would. or that if i was consistent i would. which makes me feel like i've misled her about what i do and who i am, to some extent. i know she knows it, but that doesn't feel the greatest either. does that mean i've sold out? does that mean my actions this week are contradictory to what i believe and who i am? no, but i think i'm quite the paradox, meaning on initial examination it looks like i contradict myself. which is not a very cool thing to do.

i'm just complicated and i think i worry that people don't have time for me to be complicated, so i try to simplify things and then all people get are bits and pieces that don't seem to fit together because i haven't shown them the whole picture.

*sigh*

i'm glad i've identified the source of my clutz-day, though.

and laundry is calling, so i will leave you for now. maybe i'll come back to the right floor this time . . .

life at uni . . .

i am here, i am well. i am in love with this place. i haven't exactly found my niche yet, but i've got (a little) time and i'm very much enjoying myself in the meantime. freshers week is going to turn me (and everyone else in my kitchen) into an alcoholic, but that's irrelevant.

oh, i'm kidding.

anyway, i'm living in County College - there are about 6 or 7 colleges in the university here. The colleges are split up into buildings (i'm in county main, there's also county north and south) and then each hallway is assigned to a specific kitchen. so when i refer to "my kitchen," i'm talking about my hall. there are about 26 of us, and about 10 of those are foreign exchange students. 7-ish americans, one australian, and a couple canadians. all the rest are freshers, and we also have "kitchen reps" which are the hall staff. lyndon, ian and phil are our reps, and bailey is the equivalent of our RA. he's insane.

i'm older than all of them, which is a little strange, but it's not uncomfortable.

and did i mention the "friendly" rivalry between colleges?

"C-O-U, N-T-Y
we are County 'til we die
with a nick nack paddy wack
give a dog a bone
why don't Lonsdale f*** off home!"

or, this is a good one:

"fylde boys are illegitimate
they ain't got no birth certificate
they got aids and they can't get rid of it"

all this mixed in with an "eh, millah!" every minute or so from bailey. and very dirty looks from the students in the other colleges, who are sitting in the front of the bus on the way to the bar trying very hard to ignore our kitchen. i don't blame them.

and that is pretty much how it's been thus far.

except today, the boys were cleaning the (already destroyed but looking slightly better) kitchen.

me: "i'm really impressed that ya'll are cleaning the kitchen!"
tony: (after moaning about my use of the word "ya'll") "there's nothing to be impressed about, we're just being polite british boys . . . not like those american ones" (he smirks)
me: "uh huh."



left: tony and his sponges. then andrew, who apparently is not fond of pictures? mark cleaning the sink. in the manliest way, of course. and james, who is from south england. everyone else is from the north (lancaster is in northern england, logically enough), except mary - she's from the south part of london.

well. i will be back soon with more pictures and stories, i hope - i wanted to at least let everyone know that i'm alive, since i haven't had internet until today (and i didn't feel like searching for everyone's e-mail addresses).

i'm going to go make myself some dinner. which they call "tea."

right then.

evenin' : )