Wednesday, August 22, 2007

nice to meet you (anyway)

hurricane indecisive-jessie hit my room yesterday, or maybe it was experimental-jessie (i never can tell), so clothes are everywhere (not that they weren't everywhere before the hurricane hit, but it certainly didn't help matters. or my mother's nerves.).

i have about an hour before i can call kim, so i should pick them up and then call her.

i think i'm going to play on the computer and then call her, instead. and then pull a late-nighter (or rather, an early-morning-er) to clean. i haven't had one of those in awhile, and i'm not sure my body knows what to do with all this sleep. although apparently i have "an anemia." i would've always thought is was just "anemia," not "an anemia," but i actually read my lab results this time. hooray for being responsible, yes? you learn things!

it's ok, you can roll your eyes.

i learned something else, too - my cholesterol goes up and my iron goes down when i don't have a boyfriend.

*chuckles*

maybe i'll double major, after all . . . (in the interest of my physical health, of course)

kidding, friends, i'm totally kidding.

speaking of (not getting) my MRS degree, tomorrow is my last day of the roller-coaster internship. and, in keeping with this summer's pattern, i feel an absolutely mushy mix of emotion about it. i was so inspired today, the patients were wonderful (as usual), and i got a little pang sitting in the staff education room reading back over my notes because i realized just how much i've learned.

however.

i will be so relieved to be out of the hospital. i will miss the people, and some of the reading materials (yes, i realize that i'm a nerd and have come to accept it, you can laugh if you want to), but i will not miss the environment - i can feel a little weight lift just thinking about driving home tomorrow. and then it pangs, naturally.

so effing paradoxical, emotions are. is that a word? paradoxical? i think it is.

do you know, i was listening to one of the tapes from the hospital on suicide and the droning professor-man said "genetical" in the middle of his lecture.

genetical. i about had a fit right then and there. you've completed how many years of education? and you can't say "genetic?" really?

ack.

i made a list of recipes today. i'm going to make a little notebook one day. isn't that very martha stewart-ish of me? i'm going to title it "jessie's recipes" because that kind of rhymes. and i'll probably write that, too - "jessie's recipes (hey, it rhymes!)." just so posterity can know that i really was crazy all along, i didn't just get that way in my old age.

i miss the sisters, my sisters, terribly bad.

and so annie waits
annie waits
annie waits

i'd forgotten how much i like that song. and ben folds.

still fighting it? mm. yeah. love.

you can write
but you can't edit, edit, edit

well, it's been lovely bouncing all over the place, i could probably go on for awhile, but i think i'll attempt to find my floor. i haven't seen him in awhile, i think we should re-connect, have coffee, catch up, you know.

boy. i haven't been in such a mood in quite some time. maybe those mixed emotions about leaving the internship are more directed than i thought, eh?

good evenin'.

[title:gavin degraw, ben folds, regina spektor]

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