i'm a twentysomething

this was today's entry:

by spiritual confusion
"ye know not what ye ask"
matthew 20:22

there are times in spiritual life when there is confusion, and it is no way out to say that there ought not to be confusion. it is not a question of right and wrong, but a question of God taking you by a way which in the meantime you do not understand, and it is only by going through the confusion that you will get at what God wants.

Jesus gave the illustration of the man who looked as if he did not care for his friend, and he said that is how the father will appear to you at times. you will think he is an unkind friend, but remember he is not; the time will come when everything will be explained. there is a cloud on the friendship of the heart, and often even love itself has to wait in pain and tears for the blessing of fuller communion. when God looks completely shrouded, will you hang on in confidence in him?

also, Jesus says there are time when you father will appear as if he were an unnatural father, as if he were callous and indifferent, but remember he is not. if there is a shadow on the face of the father just now, hang onto it that he will ultimately give his clear revealing and justify himself in all that he permitted.

"when the son of man comes, will he find faith on the earth?" will he find the faith which banks on him in spite of the confusion? stand off in faith believing that what Jesus said is true though in the meantime you do not understand what god is doing. he has bigger issues at stake than the particular things you ask.

very fitting, don't you think?

the summary of my life's struggle in one day's devotional, which just happens to fall on my birthday.

i'm going to put on my yellow dress and celebrate a little on the inside : )