. . . and mushrooms.

well, i've found some music, and i think that may have been the missing ingredient yesterday. was it yesterday?

but i can't settle on any music lately, which is troublesome. and it's also an indication that i'm getting caught up in all of this. again. it's becoming a weekly process, i feel.

we're going to blue ridge assembly for the retreat this weekend! as soon as it was announced i thought of the old musty gym where all of us elder's kids played basketball when i was 14-ish? and we had to climb those ridiculous stairs to get there. i'm pretty sure someone twisted their ankle while we were playing, too.

mm.

i've been playing on pandora.com, "the music genome project." you just type in the artist you like and it makes a radio station with that artist and other similars. it's wonderful, but still not helping my musical restlessness.

regina spektor.

*relieved sigh*

she seems to fit my restless moods very well.

i need to make a list. this is what school does to me. i have to make lists to feel clear. if i don't make them i feel like i'm going to miss something - and i usually do, if i don't.

i'll do it tomorrow. i hate that i'm already foggy and i'm not even taking classes yet.

but i love this song.

i cut his hair myself one night
a pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
and he told me that i'd done alright
and kissed me 'til the morning light

samson come back to bed
not much hair left on his head
ate a slice of wonderbread
and went right back to bed


i cried the first time i really listened to it. a little guilt, a little truth, a little realization i think. a me-centered realization . . . i think conviction is the word i'm looking for. i don't ever want the scissors to come out again - i don't want to give myself that kind of room, you know? because apparently i'm the hair-cutting type.

i'm so glad i found my music.

i should make a playlist for the car on saturday. i should also clean my car out before then. and maybe take my bike out of the back.

just maybe. the newbies won't need that much room, right?

right.

i think it's time i go to bed. especially if i think i'm going to be productive tomorrow.