today has been quite the mini-roller coaster. well, this weekend leading into yesterday and today, i should say.
on friday i left with holly and camille for the contra dancing weekend at table rock state park; it was really wonderful and so refreshingly different than any culture i have experienced in a long time. i will never fully subscribe to it, so i'll never be completely comfortable in it, but i feel like i am so much better able to bring myself to it now that i have a basic knowledge of how to move on the dance floor.
apart from learning to dance, though, last weekend was an intense, immersion-style reminder of where i come from. not that my family is so alternative, but the culture in which i grew up was very much so. these people that come contra dancing are not concerned with the four-year-track. they're not worried about gpas or money or the pride they've invested in this constructed, student identity. not to say they don't struggle with some of those things, but they aren't consumed by them like four-year, on-campus college students can be.
i've realized that i fall in between the two worlds. i am not moved by the completely alternative life, but i am suppressed by the accepted, standard track. i belong somewhere in the middle and i have no idea what that means for my future.
heh : )
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